Week 6! Aw, our NFL season is old enough for Kindergarten

I will open this post with an openly biased apology letter that I sent via email this morning.

Dear Rex,

How are you doing my friend? You must be excited following last night’s loss to the Houston Texans! Well, not excited so much, you guys did get beat down. But you were competitive with the best team in the league, with your performance last week, that’s saying something. Additionally you had the greatest hand signal i’ve ever seen as a fan when you rubbed your belly like a hungry bear.

Sorry again, I’m still your biggest fan,


In reality, the Jets didn’t have a horrendous showing out there, I couldn’t have been more pleasantly surprised. Well…i guess they could have won. In any case, this team is still not good and will continue to not be good all year. Every win is going to be tough to come by. I do have a few thoughts on what I would do to rebuild the team. I often have a fantasy where I am on a flight somewhere sitting next to Woody Johnson and he’s so impressed with my knowledge of his organization and the fact that I don’t harangue him at length for his support of Mike Tannenbaum and Mitt Romney, that he decides to make me his General Manager. So, if I should happen upon Woody when I go to NY next weekend and my fantasy becomes a reality, here’s what is on my to-do list:

1) Fire Tannebaum (although if I’m hired i guess this move has predated me)

2) Fire Tony Sparano. He’s a terrible offensive coordinator who makes horrendous decisions. Him and Ron Rivera can join the “we don’t have a consistent offensive strategy” club. For Sparano, I hope it is located in the unemployment office (i’m much more fond of rivera and his aversion to smiling).

3) I would cut Shonn Greene’s slow ass. He can’t run out of his own way and showed up to camp 20 pounds overweight. I’m not a model of fitness, but I’m also not being paid 2.66 mil over 4 years to run. Make Joe McKnight the starter and give Greene a sandwich for his severance.

4) I’d spend my high draft pick on the running back position. Period.

5) I’d spend money on proven veterans at WR and the defensive line. This season, the fact that TO is sitting at home and I, a Jets fan, am devastated by an injury to CLYDE GATES (don’t worry if you don’t know who he is, neither does ANYONE) shows that the Jets need a little bit of firepower at the WR position. Look, they are worried about ticket sales, the jets are not making the playoffs, at least make them competitive/entertaining. TO has to be signed.

6) Once I’m confident that I’ve assembled a half competent team (re: Shonn Greene is NOT the halfback and there is more than 1 receiver worth throwing to) I’m telling Mark Sanchez that this is his last shot. The team on the field now is not competent, Sanchez will be judged by this laughable offense. He’s made mistakes, but he’s also getting killed in the pocket and he has 0 targets to throw to. Also, to keep a defense honest (i.e. they don’t blitz every play) you need a competent run game, this also allows the QB to run play action which sanchez is really great at. Shonn Greene is a horrendous running back.

That my friends, is how to save the New York Jets. I’m awaiting your call Woody, I’m totally ready to drop my dreams of an MBA to take on the challenge of rebuilding the New York Jets into a super bowl contender. Ball is in your court four eyes.

A quick side note: I was looking through Olive Satire the other day and I happened upon my NFL Draft preview post. Read this excerpt:

“Recently, there has been a good bit of chatter that the Jets would consider trading up with the intention of taking Trent Richardson out of Alabama. Richardson had a great year, is an awesome back, and has been said to be better than Mark Ingram who also came out of Alabama, won the Heisman, and immediately contributed to the New Orleans Bounty Cheaters( the fact that they tape opposing coaches—they should be effing contracted and done away with. At the very least, Mickey Loomis better be Pete Rose’d from the NFL, immediately). Anyway, Richardson is great, but as most things it depends on what they have to give up. I’ve heard Shonn Greene and a later pick in the draft. I’d say if its a 3rd or lower pick—-then hell yes they have to take that. Richardson has some scouts saying he looks like Adrian Peterson and the best thing that could happen to Mark Sanchez is a competent running game behind him.” Scott Pion, April 26, 2012

I’d like to retract my previous statement, the Jets should have given up their 1st, 2nd, 3rd, round picks this year and next to get Trent Richardson. How good does he look? Cleveland might be bad, but Richardson made the lauded Giants front 4 look pedestrian. Holy crap, if we could have him instead of Shonn Greene. My god. What a trade that coulda been.

Anyway, onto some other games form last week:

Atlanta 24, Washington 17

So, Atlanta may have won this game but they can’t be happy the way they did it. Coming off that close, close game with Carolina and against a low tier team, you had to think the Falcons were looking to establish themselves as a premier NFL team and look for blood. If RGIII doesn’t get hurt, I don’t think Atlanta wins this game. Washington was with them the entire time and, I think, mostly outplayed them. Atlanta plays Oakland this week and Oakland is not a good team, if the Falcons don’t decisively win this game, I really think they are destined to be the Falcons of old, a powerhouse that gets shown the door in the first round of the playoffs.

New England 31, Denver 21

A few takeaways from this game. 1) Peyton Manning post neck surgery is not Peyton Manning pre neck surgery. That’s not to say he’s not an above average QB. He’s so smart, the smartest QB in the game. The way he always audibles in the right situations and he’s just so aware of the game around him, it’s really amazing. But he has trouble with passes over 20 yards and his throws are wobbly. Really wobbly. 2) Peyton Manning does better with a competent running game. Willis McGahee is not his guy. He made a horrendous fumble, but that was only after a horrendous non catch on third down and a less than stellar running performance. I’ll trade you Shonn Greene, Denver ;).

Enough living in the past, let’s talk about this weeks games!

Tampa Bay (-3) vs. Kansas City

So ESPN is enamored with this TB team. They’ve proven zero to me. They beat up the Panthers in week 1, but as sad as it makes me, the Panthers aren’t the best team in the league. Then they had a shootout with the Giants, which the Giants should have never gotten back into that game and TB let them. They “hung” with Dallas. Dallas isn’t that good either, color me unimpressed TB (I held back on the tired McKayla meme this week, I can’t promise it won’t make a return later in the season). KC is among the worst teams in the league and, furthermore, they’re starting QB is hurt. However, while this would harm most teams, this couldn’t be better for the Chiefs (although cheering Cassell’s concussion was poor form KC, poor form). I’m kinda excited about Brady Quinn, I’ve liked him his whole career and I’ll be decidedly rooting for him in this game. This game will actually be interesting, but I think KC, not Tampa, will be the one that beats KC.

Tampa Bay 21, Chiefs 10

Pittsburgh (-5) vs Tennessee

Anyone else think the Steelers just aren’t that good? They don’t score a lot of points, they really haven’t impressed in any game, they don’t seem to go 4 quarters, and they keep letting teams back into the game. That being said, the Titans are the worst team in the league (thank lord it ain’t the Jets) and with Jake Locker being out, they have no real upside. The most depressing part about this Titans team is that I do think them worse than the Jets and they will draft ahead of the Jets. Titans need to take a RB in the draft. Chris Johnson is done. He’s finished. So, whatever marquee RB draft pick there is, we won’t get him.

Pitt 14, Titans 3

Alright, quick top 3/bottom 3

Top 3

1. Houston

2. San Francisco

3. Atlanta

Even though I really wasn’t impressed with the Falcons, they are still undefeated and still easily in the top of the league. Houston did only beat up on the Jets who last week were my worst ranked team in the league, however, the defense is so dominant. Right now, JJ Watt has got to be the defensive MVP. He’s unbelievable, fast, strong, and the quickest hands i’ve ever seen. He must have deflected 4 Sanchez passes last night from the line. It was absurd. He almost makes two players on the field. SF is dominant as well, they are scary good and with Kaepernick doing what Tebow should be doing on the Jets, they’ll go far. My preseason Texans/49ers super bowl pick is looking better and better as the weeks go by.

Bottom 3

1. Titans

2. Chiefs

3. Oakland

Honorable Mention: Buffalo, Jets, Jacksonville, Cleveland

I had to include the honorable mention because I’m trying to illustrate a point. What do all seven of these teams have in common? They are all in the AFC. I can’t think of an NFC team that could be in this conversation? Gun to my head, maybe Washington, especially if RG3 is out? New Orleans even though they beat SD (no big deal, but still maybe enough to keep them away from the bottom 3). Detroit?  The AFC is aggressively terrible this year. All the more reason I’m sad that the Jets are this bad, if there was ever a year where a crappy team snuck into the playoffs in the AFC it would be this year. And, as the New York Giants proved last year, once you are in the playoffs, all bets are off. Don’t worry, bad AFC teams will get into the playoffs though, I imagine the Denver Broncos and their fans are excited about this. In any case, the reasons I chose these three particularly terrible teams are as follows: Tennessee just doesn’t have personnel. They are without Locker who I think is a pretty decent QB, but they have very few receivers and no run game. The O-Line has gotten Locker killed and, unlike the Jets, the Titans defense is average at best. The Chiefs have not played well, especially defensively, but they are promising to me because they have pieces. I like Jamaal Charles a lot (especially in Fantasy) and Dwayne Bowe is a good, borderline great, receiver. I like Brady Quinn, he’s certainly more promising than Cassell, and if this team can overcome being coached by Romeo Crennell (which who could, really?) then don’t expect to see the Chiefs this low. Oakland is coming off a bye, but they were so awful against Denver that they have to still be here. Refer to last week’s blog to read about my feelings on this Raiders team, but I’m hoping that the Chiefs and Raiders have solid games this week and bounce back. The Chiefs play Tampa and the Raiders play Atlanta though, so I’m not sure we’ll see that this week.

Thanks for reading, I know I was a bit long this week but it was fun,



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