I am live blogging the Browns/Ravens game because I actually get to see it! Thanks Time Warner! a fair warning: If this game sucks as much as I think it will, I’ll probably stop watching around halftime. It’s already going as of 8:34, so here’s my thoughts so far:

Ray Lewis hugging refs was funny. The refs getting cheered was also hilarious. That will last exactly 2 weeks. Watch. Then normal bad calls (as opposed to extra bad lately) will return.

The browns would be passable if they had a QB that wasn’t a 28 year old rookie that wasn’t the best in his college conference.

Flacco looks good, he better put up some yards, he’s starting for 2/3 of my fantasy teams.

8:36: Flacco yelled “Alaska” in his snap count and then ray rice punked someone with a stiff arm. I’m in this game.

8:39: Cheering the flags is excellent. Baltimore fans are silly.

8:48: I really hate the NFL network commercials. Steve Marriucci, Kurt Warner? If they didn’t have Deion, I’d be so against this network’s coverage.

8:49: The Ravens fans have already started to boo calls against the Ravens. Honeymoon over.

8:51: 3rd and 22 after penalties, huh? What’s happening Ravens? Flacco? Why do you hate me?

8:52: Josh Cribbs just got hit so hard in the head, it’s scary. He seriously may have a broken neck. He’s not moving at all and people have surrounded him. Watch this replay, i’ve never quite seen a hit like it. I’m not sure if he’s opened his eyes…

8:56: Cribbs is up, walking, smiling. Ravens Ball. my fantasy team is very happy.

9:02: Flacco throws a pass where there are no ravens and 3 browns. Interception. Why have you forsaken me football gods? 0-0

9:05: The Browns offensive coordinator mighta figured out how to run his offense. Give it to Richardson, let Weeden throw check downs to Richardson, make sure he touches the ball almost every play. That’s how I’d do it too, especially with Weeden (also, how terrible is your GM if one of your top draft picks is immediately a liability and everyone knew he’d be?)

9:07: Weeden pass right through Greg Little’s hands. Yes, that’s their number 1 WR too, this offense is Trent Richardson, a really talented offensive line, and liabilities. Interesting thing I’d not realized—-the Browns have a pretty competent defense, especially secondary. If they spend some money on offense in the offseason and Richardson can stay healthy and continue improving, this could be a contending team in 2-3 years.

9:11: End of the 1st, still 0-0, kind of a boring game. I’m more intrigued by the Cleveland defense than anything. This I knew, their best cornerback, Joe Haden, is out the first 4 games. I believe he was the second highest rated CB last year (to Revis). So, this defense is only going to get a lot better. I’m a little intrigued. Too bad Weeden is atrocious.

9:14: I think the football gods are reading this. Flacco with 2 long passes to open 2nd quarter. All of a sudden in the red zone.

9:15: I’m playing Dennis Pitta and Flacco in one league. I’d love a Flacco to Pitta TD.

9:15: Flacco to Torrey Smith, Touchdown, 7-0.

9:16: I lied, botched extra point, 6-0. Great, since in another league my kicker is Justin Tucker. Fantastic 🙂

9:19: showing replay and drawing, announcer draws boobies. Best replay ever.

9:21: 3rd and 5, Weeden grossly overthrows his running back not named richardson. absolutely ridiculous.

9:26: Ravens offense is marching down the field. This is more of what i expected going in. Flacco just missed big throw to Pitta, Ravens with 45 yard FG, 9-0

9:39: Shot of Colt McCoy on the sideline, his thought bubble “I got beat out by this guy? How?”

9:40: Shot of Browns offensive coordinator. I was unaware, it’s Brad Childress. Suddenly, all makes sense.

9:43: Browns are in the Redzone. Weeden looks competent. I can’t tell up from down.

9:44: Richardson runs it in. Cleveland does not botch the extra point. 9-7 Ravens

9:47: The spread for this game was 11.5. I’m shocked, I’d have taken the Ravens and given the points.

9:50: Everytime Michael Oher is on the screen, I think of the blind side.

9:51: And Brad Nessler makes a “Blind Side” reference. Quality.

9:52: This ravens offense can do nothing. Pitta has no catches. I’m displeased. I expect Harbaugh to fix this at halftime.

9:54: The Browns defensive coordinator is Dick Jauron? What is the Browns coaching staff, the island of misfit toys? Seriously, Childress and Jauron. I could make a youtube mix of hilarious Vikings/Bills clips courtesy of these two nincompoops.

10:00: Halftime. This game got real boring, real fast. I’m watching for my Fantasy teams at this point.

10:14: 2nd half starts, really raining.

10:16: alright, first time was funny, now every time Michael Oher is on camera, we get a Blind Side joke. Has happened the last 2 plays. ugh. Flacco overthrows and announcers say it has to do with rain. This bodes poorly for my fantasy team.

10:21: Ray rice is stuffed twice so Flacco runs it in himself. He was gonna throw it to Pitta, but he slipped. Sad day for me. However, yay more fantasy points. 16-7 Ravens.

10:33: Yawn.

10:38: Flea Flicker that ended incomplete, sad, it was fun to see.

10:44: 47 yd FG missed by Ravens after a bunch of penalties. Still 16-10. (oh yeah i missed a browns FG).

10:49: Ravens intercept a horribly thrown Weeden pass, pick 6, 23-10 Ravens. Unfortunate for my fantasy team, because now with the rain and the lead, Flacco will be done throwing.

11:02: in the last few minutes, the browns got a fg. The world still doesnt care.

11:03: Pitta has a ball slapped away from him. It’s a point per reception league, I could get a point for him touching the ball. Let’s get this shit together Flacco.

11:09 Sonya called me. This game really doesn’t matter anymore.

11:24: i’m back in, there was a browns FG, 23-16 Ravens, still no Pitta catches, 3:42 left. Also I’m playing my Dad in one league and he has Anquan Boldin. 9 receptions, 131 yards. That’s solid Fantasy play Dad, considering Boldin has been largely irrelevant for like 3 years. It also appears to have stopped raining. Damn you Dennis Pitta.

11:26: The browns are boring, but the announcers make a good point, they are a play or two away from winning games. They aren’t pitiful, they might be out of my bottom 3.

11:27: Big Rice run, flag down on Oher. Lots of Raven Penalties.

11:28: Another big Raven Run, they are clearly in run mode. I hate Dennis Pitta right now.

11:32: You know, i got distracted by Pitta, but Flacco has sneakily had an awesome game. 28/46, 356 yds, 1 TD, 1 INT and a Rush TD. Nice fantasy haul Flacco. If you would just throw a garbage TD to Pitta, you’d be my favorite QB not named Mark or Cam (also known as my favorite quarterback, white category)

11:36: Announcers saying that special teams coaches should be considered more for head coaching jobs. Really interesting point. Special Teams coaches do coach every player on the roster in some capacity. Then they went through which head coaches had been special teams coaches (John Harbaugh, Bill Bellichik, others who i don’t remember). Then they talked about which coaches could be head coaches. I nominate Mike Westoff from my Jets, best special teams coach in the league.

11:39: The Brandon Weeden 2 minute drill is shockingly effective. They are marching up the field with 39 seconds left and no timeouts. If they score, I’ll never make another weeden joke.

11:39: Receiver was SO close to a TD pass. Oh man, exciting?

11:40: Weeden almost throws a pick. 10 seconds left. I think this ends with a Hail Mary. Monday night flashbacks!!! Who knew this amazingly boring game would actually end excitingly.

11:42: Weeden threw it to the same spot as the GB/Seattle game. No good, nice game.  That’s some poetry.


11:43: Ravens call timeout, I’m on the edge of my seat. This is amazing, the cleveland browns are exciting?

11:44: Nice to know at the last second Brandon Weeden is still Brandon Weeden. A grossly overthrown ball, WAY out of the back of the endzone. Whew, the world makes sense to me again, Brandon Weeden is still not really a competent quarterback (although he threw 320 yards and looked shockingly acceptable on the last drive, it kind of scared me).

Ravens 23, Browns 16

Final impressions

Cleveland will finish in last place in their division and they are not a good team. But they have potential. Richardson is great, the defense is not bad, and the offensive line is really good. Give them a few free agents, a strong draft, and some time to mature (and maybe Brandon Weeden is the QB from the last drive) and this is a team that could contend in the next 2 years. Just by covering the spread against a far superior Ravens team, I’m impressed enough to knock them out of my bottom 3. Hello New Orleans!!!!

The Ravens might be the best team in the AFC. I love the offense and the defense. Flacco is solid and they have a surprising amount of weapons. Defensively they are old but still potent. The biggest problems is penalties. Last week and this week (i’ve watched two ravens games in a row and I really don’t care about them, what’s wrong with me?) it felt like every other play was a holding penalty against them. They gotta lock that down.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it 🙂



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